A remarkable eating contest
by Az-Bebere
Summary: An eating contest turning to chaos from Noel's "arts"…Like it wasn't chaotic enough… It's my first fanfic and I'm not good at summaries, but I hope you'll enjoy that story. Story complete.


**Hi everyone! Welcome to my first BlazBlue fanfic…make that my first fanfic. It will feature people getting victim of Noel's legendary culinary prowess and an OC having one of his plans backfire horribly. While I'm talking about him, he usually won't feature in my fics…**

**Ehlindor: And that's so much the better!**

**…but I needed someone to serve as host and who wouldn't know that subjecting people to Noel's cooking is an unusual and tortuous punishment.****.  
**

**Disclaimer: BlazBlue and its characters are not my property, but are Arc System Works's. Ehlindor is mine though.**

**Please enjoy that story!**

**…But first let me thank IXResoleon for having given to me the itch to write, AceThompson17 for the inspiration her oneshot gave to me and Echoesofmercy for having served as my beta.  
**

* * *

A remarkable eating contest

It was a peaceful Saturday morning in Kagutsuchi and Noel Vermillion was strolling in Orient Town when a poster caught her eye:

_Aspirant cooks wanted for an eating contest! Show off your cooking skills to help the Kakas! Ingredients are available for the audition and for the contest! Audition Saturday from 1 pm to 4 pm, contest on next Saturday 11:30 am! See you at Orient Town's community centre!_

"It's still 10 am, I can go prepare for the audition!", she said to herself, running back home to retrieve a booklet of recipes, in order to refresh her mind.

* * *

At Orient Town's community centre, she's greeted by a blond man: "Hello miss, I'm Elhindor Peldraco, the host of this contest. Are you here for registering or for the audition?" The man wore a long, black leather coat with blue jeans.

"Hum, hi, I'm Noel Vermillion. I'm here for the audition", answered Noel.

"Cute name, for a cute girl.", he said, while writing something on his notepad.

"Th-thanks.", replied Noel, blushing a bit.

"Please follow me, the kitchen is around here…By the way, what kind of cooking is your speciality?", he said entering the kitchens.

"Chinese cooking…fish specialities in particular.", she replied, in awe before the rows upon rows of worktops, and the great doors of the cold room.

"Fish recipes? Well, your test will be to do a spicy Szechuan fish, your workplace is this one", he said, showing a workplace well-furnished in spices, "and the recipe is page 25 of the booklet near it. I'll come back to evaluate your work in an hour. Now, excuse me but I must greet the other candidates." Then he left towards the kitchens' doors, to greet another candidate.

* * *

An hour later, he got back to taste Noel's work. "How is it?", Noel asked, hopeful. "Qu-quite good…come back next week at 10 am for the contest…", said Elhindor, slightly strained. "Thank you very much! I won't let you down!", said Noel, enthusiastically shaking his hands and then left, skipping towards the exit. After her departure, he rushed in the toilets and hurled the contents of his stomach, casting an antidote ars as he did so. "What won't you do for revenge…"

Why that last sentence? For that we should go back in time…

* * *

_It was a busy afternoon in the streets of Kagutsuchi, and Elhindor was at a café's terrace, eating a light snack with a prospective client. "So Tsubaki, what is the Kakas' plight and why can't you levy the funds yourself. You're the scion of a powerful family, surely you have all the financial power __needed?", he said, sipping on his lemonade. "Well, the Kakas' village was covered up by the city at the time of Kagutsuchi's construction. Now, it is a dark and foreboding place, forever deprived of the sun. The problem is that the Yayoi family can't be seen acting in a manner contradictory to a fellow Duodecim family, but I can't let the injustice done to the Kakas stand. So I need your help to raise the needed funds…", replied Tsubaki, enjoying her coffee._

"_Well, I accept your request, my payment being as agreed a commission on the funds levied. I may not have in this region the relations I enjoy in others, but I'll see what I can do. I'll start by a fundraising event and then go from there…", he was saying when suddenly, a pink-robed Kaka bowled him over, stole his snack and fled cackling in the distance._

"_Elhindor! You're fine?", said Tsubaki, running toward Elhindor to help him get up. "I'll get you thief!", he replied, shaking his fist in the air, "I'll get my revenge on you and yours!"._

"_Does that mean you're refusing to help?", said she, a bit worried. "No, I already accepted your mission and as a professional, I must honour it. However, I'll try to get back to this Kaka in the way.", he said, dusting himself, "See you later Mrs Yayoi."._

* * *

A week later, it's time for the eating contest and some…lively characters were registered

"_Meowr! Give me food!", a beige-robed Kaka said, running full tilt towards the entrance. "Stop! There's no food yet!", said Elhindor, frantically trying – and mostly failing – to restrain the Kaka. "Meow? Tao don't understand, the poster said free food…", said Taokaka, puzzled. "No, food contest, free entrance for the Kakas. But you have to wait till the beginning of the contest, in two days, ok?", replied Elhindor, getting back his breath. "Ok, food guy, but don't forget Tao, meow!", she said, running towards the exit. "Believe me, I won't…"_

* * *

"_What is the meaning of this contest!", said a ninja, bursting on the scene. "Well, it's a fundraising event organised to sensitise people to – and help solve – the Kakas' plight.", replied Elhindor, a bit surprised by the ninja's sudden arrival. "WHAT A WONDERFUL IDEA! I, BANG SHISHIGAMI, SHALL HELP YOU BY BRINGING WORD OF THAT NOBLE UNDERTAKING IN ALL OF RONIN-GAI!", shouted Bang, "Take this, for my entrance. I shall win, FOR JUSTICE!". And then, Bang left, running full tilt towards Ronin-Gai. "Wow, that man sure is energetic…I need a drink…"_

* * *

"_Damnit, Luna, where are you dragging me!", said Ragna, railing at Platinum who was tugging on his arm to bring him to the registration desk. "Luna wanna kick your ass at that eating contest! And you'll pay, or I'm gonna say you're molesting me!", Luna said, belligerent. "Oh no, you won't! Fine, I'll go with you to that goddamn eating contest, but expect to be crushed, you bratty fairy!", replied Ragna, irritated from Luna's boasting. "May I help you with something?", said Elhindor, once they arrived to the desk. "Bring it on old man! Ya sure ya won't need me to call the ambulance when you'll pass out after your defeat?", she taunted, sure of her victory. "Eh, you sure you'll be able to eat past the first meal with your pipsqueak body?", replied Ragna, getting fired up. "Why, I oughta…I'll crush ya for this", said Luna, infuriated with Ragna's poke at her body. "Excuse me, but you're holding up the queue. Can I help you?", said Elhindor, beginning to be irritated with their row. "Luna, perhaps you should stop antagonising Ragna, the desk clerk begins to fume", said Sena, fearful of Elhindor's expression, more demonic by the minute. "Shaddup Sena, he won't do nothing. And ya Ragna, ya'll get pounded by me, the great Luna!", said Luna, irked by Sena's interruption. "Hey pipsqueak, why don't you put your money where your mouth is?", said Ragna, annoyed with Luna's boasting. "What do ya mean? I'll destroy you so bad you won't make a scratch on me!", cockily boasted Luna, lazily unsheathing her staff. "I'll gladly prove you wrong!", shouted Ragna, getting out the Bloodscythe. "YOU WILL STOP ACTING LIKE CHILDREN AND STATE __WHY YOU'RE HERE!", shouted Elhindor, with many blades floating behind him. "We're here to register for the contest, I'm Platinum the Trinity and he's Ragna the Bloodedge. Here are our registration fees, thank you and goodbye!", said very quickly Sena, and then dashed out, dragging Ragna behind him. "Bloody punks", said Elhindor, deactivating his ars magus ring to let the blades fall, "Hello ma'am, how can I help you?"_

* * *

"_Interesting…", said Hazama to itself, seeing Noel heading for the kitchens, "Excuse me, are these persons going to the right the cooks to be for this contest?", asked Hazama to the desk clerk. "Yes mister. Why do you ask, if I may ask?", replied Elhindor. "Oh, I just want to register for this contest, here is my registration fee.", answered Hazama. "Well, have a good day and good luck for this contest.", said the host. "Have a good day too.", said back the NOL captain, while entering the contest hall. "Weird…oh well, I got another contestant."_

* * *

"_Mai…you have to participate to this contest. You have to learn to appreciate normal cooking: it can't be healthy to only be able to enjoy Noel's cooking!", said Cajun, dragging her friend in Orient Town's community centre. "Cajun…you know my super-taster ability precludes me from enjoying normal food…but that's good, I lived like that till now, I can survive it.", replied Mai, waving away her friend's concerns. "But here they'll cook for the benefit of the Kakas, if like I think you taste the intent and the thoughts of the cook at the time of preparation, you should be able to enjoy this meal!", said Cajun, adamant in trying to get her to eat normal food. "I can try I guess…", said Mai, arriving to the counter. "How may I help you?", asked Elhindor while the two girls were distracted. "Aaaah! You gave me a scare!", said Mai, jumping in the air, "Well, we're here for the contest…here are our registration fees.". "Good, you may enter. The contest hall in on your left. Good luck in this contest and have a good day!", Elhindor said, waving them off. "Good day to you too!", replied Cajun. "Well, I got some entertainment out of this day, no matter what happens, all is not lost…"_

* * *

At the contest tables, the reunions were…stormy: Taokaka pestered Ragna for food, Ragna tried to off Hazama, Hazama taunted Ragna for his incapacity to hurt him, Bang tried in vain to catch Ragna and Platinum boasted to everyone that they'll lose before her greatness till Elhindor got out a megaphone and shouted at everyone to shut up, stop annoying their fellow contestant and sit down.

"Now that everyone is seated and calm, I welcome all of you to this eating contest. For those who don't know me, I am Elhindor Peldraco, host of this event. This event was organised to help the Kakas. As you may know, the Kakas are stuck since the time of Kagutsuchi's construction in a subterranean village, a dark and foreboding place, deprived of the sun. The goal of this contest – and of all the events who will follow – is to levy funds in order to help relocate Lost Village. Given that this contest is more of a fundraiser than a true eating contest, it has some particularities: there will be 9 dishes, all made by a different chef according to a different theme. You'll have a limited time to eat each of the dishes, those who can't finish by the allotted time are disqualified. At the end of the time, our staff will clean the tables and serve the next dish. The winner is the one who finish first the ninth dish. The winner's prize will be a return ticket Kagutsuchi – Torifune, in time for the next event. And now, let's begin!". And then, the first meal, a casserole of beef, was served.

* * *

By the end of the eighth dish, only 10 people were left: Taokaka, Bang, Ragna, Platinum, Hazama, Cajun, Mai, 2 Kakas and a ninja of Ikaruga. And the barbs were flying: "Ah, just you wait! Luna will crush you all!", boasted Platinum. "In your dreams! You were straining to finish your seventh plate if I recall. I wonder how did you finish the eight one…, replied Ragna. "Why ya…I oughta…", replied Luna, fuming. "Tao will win! Meow!", cut in Tao, arguing with her fellow Kakas and the ninjas. "No! You won't deprive me of my victory! I, Bang Shishigami, will bring glory to Ikaruga!", said Bang. "It's only an eating contest…", said Cajun, despairingly shaking her head. "It's of no import! All occasions are good to show to the world the might of Ikaruga's ninjas!", replied Bang. "Wha…No matter…You know what, do as you wish.", replied Cajun. Then, she turned towards Mai, "How do you find the dishes so far?". "Quite good", replied Mai, "but the second one was a bit…weird. There was an undercurrent of puzzlement, almost of worry in it".

"GET BACK TO YOUR PLACES!", shouted Elhindor in his megaphone. "Now that I have your attention, we can begin with the last dish, a pufferfish with a bittersweet sauce. Enjoy!". The last dish was served, and the contest hall became a scene out of a nightmare. People were sprawled in their table, passing out after a bite of the fish. Platinum was weakly trying to knock herself out with her staff, to flee this horrid taste in the oblivion of unconsciousness.

The only exceptions were at a remote table, shared between Hazama, Cajun and Mai. "H-how…c-can…you e-eat…th-that?", said Cajun, pointing an accusing finger at Hazama, before passing out, spent. "My, my…it looks like we're the only contenders for victory, lady?", said Hazama, to the only other candidate able to deprive him of victory. "Mai. And you?", replied Mai. "I am Hazama. May the best of us win.". And here they went, eating their way though the meal. After having put the victims of the fish in a backroom – and prying Platinum's staff from her hands as well as disarming the others to avoid any unfortunate accidents – the contest's staff came to see the finalists go head to head.

* * *

"And the winner is Mai Natsume! As agreed, here is your return ticket to Torifune.", said Elhindor, congratulating Mai for her victory. "It was voluntary, wasn't it? And it was Noel the last cook?", said Mai, pointing accusingly at Elhindor. "I don't know what are you talking about.", replied Elhindor, edging towards the exit. "You got Noel as a cook to knock out everyone so you wouldn't have to give out the ticket. Own up to your infamy, you crook!", said Mai, getting out her spear and charging at the host. "There's a terrible misunderstanding! I wanted to get back to this thief!", said Elhindor pointing to the pink-robed Kaka, all the while dodging Mai's spear thrusts. "So all that talk about helping the Kakas was a cover-up, you liar!", said Mai, enraged at being unable to strike at the host. "No, no, no! That was just a bonus. You see, I got hired to help the Kakas and…", said the contest host, unsheathing his sword to parry Mai's spear attacks. "And now you draw a weapon! You want to off the witness of your villainy, you cur.", said Mai, redoubling her efforts to catch Elhindor. "Oh damn! I won't get you to calm down till you're tired, will I? Take care of the passed out!", shouted Elhindor to his staff, before fleeing the scene, all the while parrying and dodging Mai's frenzied spear attacks.

* * *

**Thanks for reading and please review to indicate where should I progress. Goodbye *bows and exits***


End file.
